suojure:

malijuanastyles:

i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop blop and enjoy symphony no. 9 a la my asshole

(via twerknugget)

moriartylaughingalonewithcrown:

vikingstorytime:

liquiddittyfloats:

who else feels like the hannibal fandom came out of fucking nowhere

#walk into the club like whaddup i eat people

i couldn’t resist

(via theother-worldlyninja)

craplos:

ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.

(via fionajude)

sweeneytad:

*dentist slaughters family in front of you*

they’re bleeding because you don’t floss

(via ihatetrees)